Maureen

Do your kids know about the 'end of the world' being predicted for 5/21/11? How are they dealing with it, if they do?

My 11yo son has been joking about it ever since he read an article about it over my shoulder last week. But, I think, underneath the joking, he's a little bit worried that it might be real, too. In conversation, he's mentioned reading other articles about it online since then, including ones that list why it's not going to happen, which leads me to believe that he's concerned & looking for reassurance and/or more information.

My 3rd grader has told me about school bus teasing on & off over the course of the school year. We have ongoing conversations about it & she's coping with it pretty well.

It's bigger/older kids. They tease her about reading on the bus, about her coat not matching her boots or her coat being dirty, about messy hair. They tease her about ignoring them, when she tries that strategy. They whisper and laugh at her.

She's tried moving seats, but there are a couple of groups of kids, apparently, who do this. Or, they just move to be closer to her.

She doesn't want to tell on them, because she thinks that will just make them tease more. And, she seems OK with just ignoring them & then talking to me about it later.

But, in the course of our conversations, we talk about the teasing kids. About how it must feel to think it's fun or funny to hurt someone else's feelings. And, we worry about how, if they stop teasing her because they are not getting any reaction from her, then they might go tease someone else who is not as confident and strong as she is.

And... I wonder, as a parent involved in the school, one who wants the best for all of the kids at the school - including those teasing kids - what might we do as a school, a parent group, a community, to help those kids to learn empathy & to take pride in who they are.

Any ideas? Or, any new ideas that might help my daughter have a more pleasant bus ride, free from teasing?

Let's assume the standard custody situation, where either mom has custody & dad gets EOWE/School holiday visitation -or- parents have shared custody but child's primary residence is with mom & dad's parenting time is EOWE/School Holidays. Child has own bed & bedroom at dad's house.

Child is sick. It's time for dad to pick child up.

What should the parents do? Is this different from what parents that you know actually do, usually, in this situation?

FYI - this is just a survey-type question... My stepdaughter's all grown up now. I'm just involved in a conversation about this on another website.

And, yes, I asked this a few days ago, in a different Y!A category. I'm just looking for more input on the topic, wondering if I'm way off base in my idea of how this usually works out in the real world.

Let's assume the standard custody situation, where either mom has custody & dad gets EOWE/School holiday visitation -or- parents have shared custody but child's primary residence is with mom & dad's parenting time is EOWE/School Holidays. Child has own bed & bedroom at dad's house.

Child is sick. It's time for dad to pick child up.

What should the parents do? Is this different from what parents that you know actually do, usually, in this situation?

FYI - this is just a survey-type question... My stepdaughter's all grown up now. I'm just involved in a conversation about this on another website.

Preferably about girls, overcoming adversity - or, at least, about life as a child in whatever historical period is presented in the book. 1960's or earlier.

My daughter's discovered that she likes these kinds of books - just trying to get a wide range of ideas to choose from the next time we're at the library.

Just starting to brainstorm for 3rd & 5th grade class parties & wondering what everyone else has planned.

What grade is your child in? What are you/the room parents planning for this year's party?

Love 'The Care and Keeping of You' for girls and am wondering if there's something similar for boys.

"Chugga-Chugga Choo-Choo" doesn't really capture the actual sounds of a *real* freight train in the distance click-clacking into town, sounding a horn as it reaches a crossing, then fading away.

What words (or letter combinations, if you're going for re-creating the actual sound) would you use to write out the sound of a train passing a few blocks away?

We live in Illinois, but might be willing to use our summer vacation time to travel somewhere to help, if that's possible.

But, besides that, are there any other ways we can help the volunteer organizations that are doing the work, rescuing wildlife, preserving shoreline, etc?

...And, yes, I did post this a while ago in the 'Environment' category, but answers are coming slowly there and I figured parents might have some ideas of things that they are already doing with their families (or have heard about doing as families)

We live in Illinois, but might be willing to use our summer vacation time to travel somewhere to help, if that's possible.

But, besides that, are there any other ways we can help the volunteer organizations that are doing the work, rescuing wildlife, preserving shoreline, etc?

Or, would those charges have to be brought to a grand jury by a US District Attorney?

And, besides punishing them, what might be done to teach them/give them the self-respect, personal pride and sense of responsibility for themselves that might help turn their lives around?

I'm thinking about those teens in the Phoebe Prince case whose parents, apparently, did not teach them how to treat other people when they were younger. Could something have been done by other well-meaning adults in their lives, during their younger school years, that may have taught them what their parents didn't?

And, I'm thinking about my own children & their classmates in elementary school. I'm active in the school & know that some of those kids come from homes where they don't get the attention & parenting that they need. I try to mentor those kids when I'm there. And, I tried to model & teach responsibilty & empathy in my Cub Scout Pack, when I was cubmaster.

But, I'm wondering if there might be some other programs or approaches that you've seen put to use, successfully, in your own schools & communities. I'd like to bring some ideas to the next PTO and Council meetings.

I agree that harassing and threatening behavior should be punished. The kids who do that should know that there are consequences for their behavior. But, if they keep doing the thing that they are punished for, then it's clear to me that they don't know how or why to stop doing it (besides just to avoid punishment). There's something missing in their basic understanding of decent human behavior. And, there's something missing in their sense of pride in themselves & their choices. I'd like to help find answers that will work for those kids who are on the wrong path.

Do they have character building programs that guide a child towards self-respect, the kind that would keep them from intentionally hurting others? Do you think it works, that it actually reaches the type of child who is emotionally stunted to the point that they find value in hurting others?

What does the school administration do when bullying is brought to their attention? Do you think that their reactions solve the problem, ignore it or perpetuate it & make it worse?

Not just the easy kind - like feeling sorry when someone you like gets hurt.

I'm thinking, today, about the Phoebe Prince bullying case and wondering how can we teach our kids the really hard kind of compassion for others, the kind that you should feel even when everyone around you isn't, the kind that you should feel even when you feel a bit attacked yourself?

And, maybe compassion isn't even the right word for what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about the recognition of your ability to hurt another and the self-restraint and self-pride to choose not to do so.

Or, at least, the ability to feel true regret and remorse for doing so, when you do it in the heat of a moment or in a moment of weakness, a moment where you are feeling so low that you just strike out.

I'm reading about the campaign against her and seeing how the kids slipped into mob mentality. It is unconscionable, of course, that the whole group of them was able to continue their reign unchecked by parental supervision or guidance, for the many months that it went on, but it is understandable how their impulsive teen minds and their desire to belong caused their initial actions. I've been a teen & remember that careless self-centeredness well.

And, although I was generally the teased kid, I can still remember even now the few times when I was thoughtless & hurtful to others. I regret them still, over 25 years later. And, of course, there are still times in my adult life when I wish I had more self control & compassion. So, maybe this can never really be taught to our children & teens...

But, what do you think are some strategies to at least try to set them on the right path? Not just your own children, but society's children in general (since some parents don't seem to be taking that task on, on their own). Can it be taught in a school situation? Does your child's school or youth group have any good programs that you've seen succeed in practice?

We're heading to Disneyworld in a couple weeks (thanks, big sis!) and I want to make reservations for one or two meals at their sit-down restaurants (because I've heard that they do fabulous thing for kids with food allergies there). Maybe one breakfast & one lunch or dinner.

The kids, at their current ages & temperaments (7, 8, 10 & 18) would not be impressed at all by costumed characters, so I'm not going out of my way to find a 'character meal'.

I am looking at the website and am overwhelmed by the number of restaurants & dining styles available for reservations! I need help narrowing them down...

Have you eaten at Disneyworld 'sit-down' restaurants? Which were your favorites and why?

I'm putting together baskets for a fun fair & need an approx retail value for a donation we received

I've been told that spelling is not a part of our district's official curriculum - although, in the past 4 years in the district, my kids have always *had* spelling tests in their individual classrooms. When I was told this by the district representative, she said that this decision to exclude spelling from the curriculum was 'research-driven'.

I've been googling & haven't yet found any research (online) that would indicate that spelling should be removed from school curriculum. I'd like to read it, if it exists. Do you know of any research that would indicate this? And, if so, can you link to it?

If so - what grade do you teach?

And, is spelling a part of your district's curriculum or have you just decided to add it in on your own? If you have added it despite the fact that it's not required by your district, why do you feel it's important enough to add in, anyway?

If so, what grade are they in (and have they had them in previous grades)?

Finally, do you know whether spelling is an official part of your district's curriculum? Or, do the teachers just do it on their own, outside of the required curriculum?

Agree or disagree?

This question has been floating around in my head since yesterday's 'birthday party invitation' discussions here. But, it could apply to all kinds of similar discussions that we have here (and elsewhere) regarding interactions with others (not just children) in the world.