?

Is it harsher to call a bloke who's caused trouble a b*st*rd or a son of a b*tch?

I'm a volunteer worker in the dogs trust re-homing centre in Huyton and a friend of the dogs trust too. I hurt my shoulder there on Friday last week. I was there with 3 of the other friends and we were putting up a pop up gazebo we'll be using for a sale we're having next month (to see how big it is and check it's not damaged or anything which it isn't). While I was helping put it back down, I heard a popping sound from my shoulder and it suddenly started hurting me.

It's been worse when I've lifted my arm up for any reason, like to put a top or jumper on, put my shoulder bag on (I carry it on my other shoulder, the one I haven't hurt) or reach out or up to reach something, like to get something out of a cupboard.

I've been taking ibuprofen to help, but it's still been causing me trouble now.

What could have happened to it and how long will it take to get better?

They're both fine by the way. I'm just wondering why it's happening.

When they're with me - like when I'm sat in the armchair in the living room and they lie on the arm of the couch, or I'm in my bedroom and they like to lie on my bed or dressing table - they like to be stroked, the same as how many different cats usually do. What I don't get is that when I stroke their front paws, they stretch their toes out and extend their claws too simultaneously.

Why do they do that?

I've used washing up liquid, bleach and clean n fresh pine disinfectant (39 pence for a 1 liter bottle in home bargains) before which have all worked really well. I obviously also rinse the tray out thoroughly and dry it once I'm done so there's no scent left behind, since strong cleaner smells can deter cats from using it.

Would I be better sticking to one of these or using a different one?

Bear in mind I finished school years ago, but this is something that I still don't understand now.

Basically when I was in years 11 and below some of them used to treat me like crap on their shoes. However, once I'd become a sixth former, they were trying to be all pally with me. One teacher was attempting this after previously threatening me with a half an hour detention purely for putting my lipstick back on in the girl's toilets during lunch break (harsh I know) and another who was supposedly a special needs teacher but she wasn't nearly patient enough with people for that.

It seemed like they thought I'd forgotten the way they'd treated me previously. I felt like giving them a good mouthful at the time, but I didn't because I would otherwise have risked being kicked out, especially since excluding a 6th former is easier than kicking a lower down pupil out because it's non-compulsory education.

Why did this happen?

I'm currently washing all of them out once per week and when I change the color of makeup, for example if I switch using a different colored eyeshadow or lip gloss. I would obviously also wash them if I ever had an eye infection or cold sore. I generally let them air dry, but use my hair dryer if I'm in a hurry to get them dry.

The makeup brushes I use are as follows:-

- powder brush (I don't use a foundation brush)

- blusher brush

- eyeshadow brush

- eyebrow/eyelash brush/combs (one to keep my eyebrows neat and one to remove any clumps in my mascara

- old mascara wand from a previous mascara I used. A trick I learned to save money is to buy a more expensive mascara once, then wash and save the wand once it's run out. After that, apply new, cheaper mascara with the wand that comes with it, then use the old one to fluff and separate the lashes.

- lip brush (only sometimes. If I use a lipstick which isn't down to the end bit and a lip gloss which comes with an applicator, I obviously won't need the lip brush).

Also, what should I use to wash them with? I've used shampoo which works well, normal soap and hand wash for sensitive skin (not all together). Are these best or would I be better using a different cleaner?

I was taught it back when I was in school during my GCSE years, but I can't remember it.

When you can immediately tell from a character's name what their personality is like, such as how people can immediately tell Cruella De Vil from 101 dalmatians is the main baddie because the name comes from the words 'cruel' and 'devil'.

Does anyone know?

One that I got e-mailed by a family friend a while back.

This is how the joke goes.

A burglar breaks into a house in the middle of the night, looking for things to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up and says:

'Jesus knows you're here'.

The burglar is startled, jumps and switches his torch off, then waits for a few minutes, but there's no more talking or noise. He switches his torch back on, looks around and sees a hi-fy system on the wall he likes the look of, so he begins to unfasten it, when the voice speaks up again, this time saying:

'Jesus is watching you'.

The burglar looks round to see where the noise is coming from and his torch lands on a bird cage with a parrot in it. He goes over to the cage and asks:

'Did you say that'?

The parrot confesses: 'Yes, I'm just warning you that Jesus is watching you'.

The burglar asks: 'Who exactly are you?

The parrot replies: 'I'm Moses'

The burglar laughs and says: 'Who names a parrot Moses?'

The parrot then replies: 'The same person who names a rottweiler Jesus'.

Any good?

I had an argument with my dad just before. Basically, I was rocking back and forth sat in the armchair, which was supposedly annoying him. (I don't know why, I wasn't in the way of the TV or anything), so he told me to stop doing it. I should also mention that I have asperger's syndrome (a mild form of autism), which is why the rocking back and forth occurred - repetitive movements are one of the symptoms of autism, so stopping myself from doing it isn't as easy as some people would think.

I explained that it's down to my autism, but he wouldn't listen to me, which doesn't make sense in particular because it's believed when I got the diagnosis, my autism comes from my dad's side of the family.

It wasn't until my mum asked me to go and fill the kettle up that I stopped. As I stood up I saw that my dad was holding one of his A4 diaries up so it blocked his vision of me for some odd reason. Going to fill the kettle up stopped the argument before it became physical, but who was wrong in this situation? Me, my dad or both or us?