don_sv_az

What has 4 letters, never has 5 letters, and sometimes has 9 letters.

I see people giving President Trump flack over not owning a pet. Haven't they seen that thing on his head?

Have the leaders, in current politics maybe Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un, and have them stand face to face and beat their tallywhackers together until one of them cries "Uncle!!!" Would this stop all the comments about whose button is bigger?

I was considering that as a major when I was entering college, but my advisor said I would just be taking up space at college.

I decided to study agriculture and become a farmer instead. I must have done OK because people always found me outstanding in my field.

So according to the Bible God made the Heavens and Earth, the sun and the moon, and separated the water from the firmament, me made the plants and animals and made Adam and placed him in the Garden of Eden. Then he made Eve to be a companion for him. He did all that in six days and on the seventh he rested. On the eight day God was sitting around looking at all his creations and wondering, I'm forgetting something, what could it be? He thought for a long time before it came to him.

Turn signals. That was it. Turn signals.

Remember; God gave you turn signals for a reason. Use them!!!

I have a pet rock and I need to teach it to sit.

I have an Oster blender and it seems to have a small leak through the center of the cutter blade assembly. I do have a new one ordered but was curious can it be taken apart to see if it just needs a gasket or some other simple repair?

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.

Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.

He turns to her... they kiss... and then they rip each others clothes off and make love. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The woman says, "You can choose any prize from the bottom shelf."