pretty.n.kunene

I am in a 7 months relationship with my boyfriend.  I love him so much and does too alot. He even want to marry me. So he has a friend ( a girl) from high school who he reconnected with her from 2018, it 2 years. So he used to talk about her alot on how she was hurt and he doesn't want her get more hurt by guys. The girl has a child with the other guy. I was invited to the birthday party by a friend  and i asked my bf if we will leave together and he said that he will send me the location. I was pissed , to a point that I didn't want to go but I went. When i arrive, i saw the bond the child and him had. He then, introduced me as future Mrs and I laughed. So as the birthday preparations done, he went to the friend's house and came back wearing a white Tshirt. When I arrived her was wearing a green vest. So I asked myself were was this tshirt at, friends room or what? He never entered my room but I entered to his. So I ignored it and act normal. As we about to sing,  the mother of a friend greet the friend's high school and I was asked " and who are you?" It felt awkward and my bf kept quiet. The bond the my boyfriend have in that family made me asked to much questions . So the friend's bf arrived at 4pm and I asked myself why didn't the bf be the one who organised the birthday but not my bf. I wasn't his first priority to him . Even the bf felt uncomfortable around my bf . So ever since that day i felt doubtful of him and I told him how I felt . He even asked to be her friend.

I am a 27 year old woman who live with both parents and my dad is a pastor . So in 2015 i went to my first interview and it went great and they were ready to take me. So when i told my parents, The company i went was very far away from home. I was ready to start a life of my own and find the nearest places to stay but my parents were like "you don't know anyone in that city" or "we don't have a family that is near? .Then i had to let this position down because of them. My dad felt guilty and told my mom that maybe he was overprotective .He made a mistake and brought me a data to look for jobs.

Then 2016 ,he decided to buy me a car "Atos" to take me from point A to B so that he can't make the same mistakes but now i got a contract job far away from home and when i tell him that i want to take a car with me,all he says it "Your car needs insurance so that you can drive long distance, if accidents happens ,it will be up to him to pay it",and that time he registered the car on my name.

He doesn't know have a bonds with me but only my neighbor who is 35 years old and a christian too. He knows me down to earth and able to control me when i am angry. He knows me when i am sad or angry and know how to make me happy again.

Truly speaking i can't even take good decision of myself . I always doubt about myself and decision i make. I feel like my life is over and have suicidal thoughts. I even cry everyday in my room.

I am a 27th year old lady who live with both parents. My dad is a pastor and we are Christians. So in 2015 i went to my first interview and it went great and they were ready to take me. So when i told my parents, The company i went was very far away from home. I was ready to start a life of my own and find the nearest places to stay but my parents were like "you don't know anyone in that city" or "we don't have a family that is near? .Then i had to let this position down because of them. My dad felt guilty and told my mom that maybe he was overprotective .He made a mistake and brought me a data to look for jobs.

Then 2016 ,he decided to buy me a car "Atos" to take me from point A to B so that he can't make the same mistakes but now i got a contract job far away from home and when i tell him that i want to take a car with me,all he says it "Your car needs insurance so that you can drive long distance, if accidents happens ,it will be up to him to pay it",and that time he registered the car on my name.

He doesn't know have a bonds with me but only my neighbor who is 35 years old and a christian too. He knows me down to earth and able to control me when i am angry. He knows me when i am sad or angry and know how to make me happy again.

Truly speaking i can't even take good decision of myself . I always doubt about myself and decision i make. I feel like my life is over and have suicidal thoughts. I even cry everyday in my room.

This makes me lose love and trust to my dad because he has alot of fear in himself, worse he is a Pastor and he s always reading a bible on his spare time instead of helping me in weekends.

I cry everyday because every time people ask why can t i drive long distance and I keep quite and be hurt. Whats the point of having a car then? i want to tell them to sell it so they can have money to feed themselves since they not working because i don t a point of me having a car if my dad doesn t want to take my car and drive long distance.😑😩😔😭

please help