How do you shhitt through the eye of a needle ?

By not sitting (shitting) on the sharp end.

Look for any kind of food in the house which may already have evolved a conscience, ie fruit or bread or meat that has grown a beard and started to crawl towards freedom. Then lightly cook it into an omelette with still runny eggs in it, and you have a recipe for endless hours on the toilet until your legs go to sleep with the thrown in benefit of projectile vomiting... Have fun, see you down the emergency unit...

Go to a backstreet pub that never cleans its pipes, have ten pints, on ya way back have a vindaloo from the dirtiest lookin indians you can find, then in the morning position the needle correctly and its guaranteed

On pins.

A micro-funnel.

When quantum physics gets up your butt.

Using a transporter on the Enterprise.

.

Find a huge needle and position ya'self precisely ...

Get really bad diarrhea sometime you'll see. You'll also be able to s h i t through a screen door.

by having a gastric bug like i had last week, i couldnt be bothered to hold a friggin needle under my bum while i shat water though.

Thats a really funny question! My family uses that saying a lot! Are you obsessed with farting and poo! Perhaps the answers in your name Guffer!

with a very good aim or by eating something v.bad 4 you

Try a very hot vindaloo mate, you'll soon see!