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what should i think about my boyfriend's lie?
i've been in a serious relationship for about 3 years. we recently moved (for a couple months) out of the country to work together.
before we got together he had just ended a really long relationship. it ended real bad. i never told him that he couldnt talk to her b/c i trusted him and i didnt want to be controlling like she was.
about a year into our relationship, she managed to spread horrid rumors bout me and assault me in a club (i just walked away). i then told him that i was not ok with him talking to her anymore.
so now a couple years later, on the night b4 we move out of the country, she texted him how she missed him already... at 4am!!! when i asked him who it was, he lied and told me it was someone else (he didnt know i looked). i dont think hes cheating but he did lie!
i didnt say anything b/c we were going to have a difficult day traveling. its been 2 weeks now and im scared to bring it up. its not like we can get away from each other.
im confused and need some advice.
thank you for all your comments. i brought it up in a calm manner. although he did get irritated, he calmed down eventually. he did not reply to her and said he lied so that i wouldnt freak out and understood that lying prob wasnt the best thing to do. im hoping that we can start to heal from this because trust and honesty is soooo important.
3 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavourite answer
I think it depends on whether or not he responded to her text. I mean, he doesn't have control over who sends messages to his phone. It's what he does with the message once it's there that matters. So if he wrote her back or called her, and continued the conversation, then you have a problem. If not, you know he doesn't want to talk to her anyway.
- 1 decade ago
Try to find out if he responded to the text first, then don't accuse him of lying. Tell him you know it was her that sent the text. Then ask why he would feel he could not tell you it was his ex. Try to be casual and nice about it if at all possible. If you don't you may panic him into more lies and no real answers to your questions. The last thing (i think) you want is a fight over it. hopefully his answer will be that he has no interest in her but didn't want to risk hurting your feelings over it. Good Luck.
- PalLv 71 decade ago
You are going to have to make the best o a bad situation. Keep your head down, work hard for the next couple months and when you get home get some couples counceling. If he won't go you have your answer. Then do what ever is right for you.
