My son and grandparents & aunts?

Question

I have a three little boy, and I want let him go anywhere without me or my husband. My mom, sisters and in-laws have been asking since he was born when are they going to get to keep him. They only time he has been away from us is when we went Christmas shopping last year for about 11 hours, and birthday shopping this year for about 4 hours. He stayed with my mother and father in-law. I called just about every hour to check on him. But we didn't tell anyone else about it. I want let him go with my mom because of my sister (LONG STORY). And my other sister I trust 100% but I cant let him go with her and not my mom. I try to be as far as I can be. But they keep saying I am crazy grandparents and aunt should be able to get their grandkid or nephew when ever. But I look at it like this I didn't have him for everyone else to keep. I am a stay at home mom, why does he need to go with someone other that me. And they say "everyone needs a BREAK." ? Why? I f you need a BREAK you shouldn't have kids. I get all the break I need when he is in bed.  We want let him ride in a car unless my husband or I are driving. (because my husband sister was killed in a car rack and he doesn't trust anyone else).I know I have to let him go to school in a year and eight months. But that isn't right now.

Well my ? is. are we over protecting him? Is is going to  hurt him in the long run, when it is time for him to go to school? And does anyone agree with me?

Angeln · Accepted Answer

I understand you love your little boy, and want to protect him as much as possible, but i feel you are being a little over protective.  And by protecting him too much, you might end up hurting him in the end.  if he is never away from you, then school will be very difficult for him. and when hes older he might rebel more than most kids and not want anything to do with you.  I know its hard. but maybe you could just leave him at your moms or your sisters for just an hour at a time or something. how close do you live to these family members? maybe you could just leave him there while you go grocery shopping or something.  take baby steps if you have to. start with just a half hour or so. go visit awhile.. and then say... oh i just need to run to the store for something, and leave him there.. then come back and visit awhile and take him home.  I would assume you have a cell phone right? so if anything happens they can call you. and you can call them.. you could talk to your mom on the phone the whole time if you wish, he wont know who shes talking to, but he will have time to be with other people and build some self confidence and learn to be a little more independent.

Anonymous · Answer

I know when my baby is born I am going to be exactly the same way. But we do have to give the kids some breaks. Only leave your child with someone who you trust, completely and it doesn't have to be everyday, once or twice a month is fine, like you said he is YOUR baby. As for the car thing, anyone can have an accident you and your husband included, just because one of you are driving that doesn't mean he's accident proof, but again make sure whoever is driving is a responsible driver. I won't say let go, but he is going to school soon so I will say you have to let loose a little, for both of your sakes. Good luck.

rrm38 · Answer

I think it's your prerogative as a parent to choose not to permit others to keep your son.  That said, I believe it would be a good idea to let him spend a little time with others keeping him over the next year or so.  Not so much to give you a break, as I understand you don't want one, but to give him the experience of being away from mom & dad for a little while.  If he hasn't been away from you at all when he starts school, this could lead to some pretty serious separation anxiety on his part.  If he's accustomed to the idea of being away from you for short periods of time it may actually make it easier for him to adjust to going to school during the day.  But, again, it's entirely up to you.  There is no right or wrong answer.

ETA - Just be honest with your mom about your sister.  If there is a legitimate reason for you to be concerned for your son's safety around her then your mom should understand.  Ask your mom if she could come to your house to keep him on occassion so you and your husband can go out for a nice dinner, movie or shopping.  That will permit your mom to spend alone time with him and keep your sister out of the picture.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it does sound like you are very over protective! you need to let him discover other people other than you two or else he can develop anxieties when he is older.If you trust them, there is nothing wrong with letting them take your son for a day.

Moms DO need a break from time to time and it is nice to get once.

I can see how your husband has a fear of anyone other than you two driving him but to be honest, someone can slam into you just as easily even if you are safe drivers.

You don't want your son turning out to be like Monk do you? lol

My son and grandparents & aunts?

4 Answers