i need some advise, maybe im wrong?

Question

we brought my niece and her boyfriend to a very expensive restaurant, later they only thanked my husband, and then he received a actual thank you card in the mail, addressed just to him, and never was i mentioned, do i , have the right to feel slighted and somehow feel insignificant, this has happened several times before, if i go out to eat with my in-laws , i don't thank just one of them i thank both of them, my feelings are very offended, i, just want to know if im over-reacting

Sheryl W · Accepted Answer

I think you have an answer to the question "How much do they value me  or What do they think (or don't think) of me?" Do they feel you are not a contributing member of your family and just a window dressing? I think your husband can help in "correcting" the oversight. He can say Your Welcome, my wife (or insert name) and I enjoyed your company so much. My wife ( or insert name) and I would like to do it again. Make sure he inserts your name or calls you my wife many times to get the idea that both of you invited them. He could even call your niece and her boyfriend and let them know he received the thank you card and He knows that it was an error on their part that it was only addressed to him and not to you both. Don't get mad do some blatant "correction" of their manors. They may realized that they were wrong or you may find out what they really think of you. If the truth is the later, maybe you should not invite them out anymore.

Kevin W · Answer

First of all, is it your biological niece or your husband's biological niece? If it is your husband's niece, it is very possible that the niece is not intentionally neglecting you. She may just feel that both you and her are there because of her uncle, and that the whole thing is really her uncle's doing, so she thanks her uncle. 

It is a normal thing to be slighted, but I would not hang on to that feeling too long, it is very capable of causing division where no division was meant. 

Another question I will ask is, do you ever spend time with your niece apart from your husband? If, not, I would recommend doing so. Doing so, would show your niece that you are interested in her, and that you are not just there with her because her uncle is there.

flowerychild76 · Answer

That is rude, thoughtful, inconsiderate, and just plain immature.  My feelings would be terribly hurt. You are not over-reacting.  I myself would be tempted to send them a gift certificate to charm school rather than spending any more money on taking them out to eat.

She Hulk Smish · Answer

Geez, I'd feel bad too! That was not very polite of them. Expensive restaurant or McDonald's, they still should say thanks to both of you!

Misty F · Answer

If I were you, I damn well would be offended, that was just crappy of them. Stop inviting them.

Anonymous · Answer

i would feel the same! thats just rude!

i need some advise, maybe im wrong?

6 Answers