Why does my boyfriend keep me separate from his family?

Possibly protecting you from an abustive family.

Ask him to explain if there is any reason on the side of protecting you that isn't due to your side of the relationship, even if he is lying to himself, getting him to say out loud that he is putting you first is important.

You can take a prerogative to talk to his mum, if he tells you he is going to be involved with her then you are going to be involved with her.

The worst this could be is that he stopped involving himself with his mum and ex girlfriends because he didn't want you to know or get upset/emotional about them. As time has passed, he feels more secure in his relationship with you and is starting to reengage with that part of his life again. You can point out that it logically follows that his reengaging mans you engage too.

You get to talk to them all and alleviate his fears because he had genuine fears and wants to open up and be truthful and reengage both you and him with his familial relationships

OR

You get to talk to them all and conspire to punish him for involving you with them where you work with all of them against him because he got involved with his exes and his mum again.

You sound like a strong woman but he can't expect you not to engage and deal with it if he engages in something he hid from you. He is making himself the target if he does that while he is with you.

He is probably waiting to see if you attack him or he can trust you with his life.

Relationships are based on trust and he needs to know you trust him, you are with him, and that means you are supporting him if he engages with his mum and others too.

You offer support to him to reengage if that is what he wants. He is involving you and you should stay calm and be smart. He needs to trust you too.

Expressing your fears is not being emotional.

It is opening up showing your trust in his responsibility and explaining your weaknesses and fears and asking for him to care and love you. Talk it out, ask what is he scared of relating to you and why it is related to him and reassure him you will understand who he is and help make the relationships work if that is what he wants.

Also point out that if he is engaging because he treats you as becoming involved in his family, that he is embarking toward marriage.

If he is a lying scum, I would point out that you are better off not being emotional and just get even.

You will know what to do.

I think him wanting contact with his mother is natural, regardless of whats gone on before. As dating you was part of the issues they had in the past, its understandable he is keeping the 2 separate for now.

His mother is in contact with his exs?

As a mother (to 3 grown children) I have known many exs in my time. I'd find it VERY churlish to suddenly ignore them simply because they and my children have new partners.I left the high school mentality LONG ago. Fortunately they are all on good terms with my children, they all moved on with dignity and maturity.

His mother doesnt need to ignore anyone YOU feel is inappropriate to know you are his new gf. She knows, she just doesnt like it, and you cannot change that, so he is doing what he feels is best for everyone concerned.

you said you want to make an effort with his family, he has probably spoken to his family and understand how the land lies, and they are not as open to this as you are, so if you want a peaceful happy relationship, start trusting his opinion and stop pushing your agenda onto him and his family, and if that doesnt suit you, its time to call it a day. This isnt a Disney movie

fall between two stools. To attempt two roles and fail at both, when either could have been accomplished singly. Ladies one to other can be deadly you will be better off without his mom.