Is it rude to calm somebody down? ?

Question

It's the normal afternoon at the office. Tensions are running high, everyone is chasing a deadline and BAM I heard my boss shouting from her office why she wasn't able to access a certain file.

I asked her to calm down as I have access to the said file and the situation will be diffused.

Then she asked me to do another task, and I simply asked the question why am I doing the task because I'm new at the job, and would like to know the reasoning behind it. Do not get me wrong, of course I see it as an opportunity to increase my confidence skills etc but I would like to know the reasoning so I can give it my all.

She said that I was quite rude to question her as to why she was giving me the job and if I didn't want it, I can just not do it. I just want to understand why?

Granted this is my first job straight out of college and there are lot of things that I'm not used to, especially office politics. Now, my admin said to not take things to heart because my boss is actually insecure about herself.

But I feel so confused like when I say calm down I really do not mean to be condescending as she said. I just want to deal with the problem calmly, because the problem was easy to fix. And for the questioning the purpose behind the task, is it wrong for me to ask as well?

I'm so confused guys please help.

duker918 · Answer

You're new and it's your first job out of college and you tell your boss to "calm down"?
You're luck you're still employed there.

If you want to deal with the problem calmly then YOU stay calm, you do NOT tell your boss to calm down.  At this point your bosses insecurity is not relevant.

This is not a matter of learning "office politics".  It is a matter of common courtesy and respect of your co-workers and work superiors.

What the heck do they teach in school?

Eva · Answer

You don't ever tell a superior to "calm down". Simply say you'll take care of it. They aren't required to give you a reason why they've assigned you a specific task. You were wrong to question it, especially since she was already stressed.

Anonymous · Answer

To your boss, at work? It's condescending as f#ck. Would you have said that to a man? If this was to your partner or family or at home I don't think it would be. Context, context, context.

? · Answer

should've told her, "quit acting like woman, maybe you'd be better off back in the kitchen were you belong..." you would've gotten a promotion, Im sure... the point of that is to try to find comedy in weird situations... that's how I got by when working with an underqualified female supervisor at one point in time. (obviously don't actually say it, just think it)

? · Answer

It's very unappropriate to tell your boss how she should assign tasks. She tells you to do a job and you do it. No justification necessary on her part.

Is it rude to calm somebody down? ?

5 Answers