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Does she like me or just using me?
I met this girl and we got on really well since we first met. I helped her out a few times during quarantine as she lost her job. She told me she fancied me and that she'll be there for me anytime. We maybe talk for an hour or two a day but she wouldn't respond to my messages until late that night. What I'm thinking is that is she using me, is there someone else that she likes or is she just leading me on? I don't know that everything she told me how she feels about me is genuine.
5 Answers
- SW-6Lv 611 months agoFavourite answer
A man or woman is going to treat you the way you let them. The way I see it, looks like you are trying to buy her affections. She is probably thinking the same thing, happily accepting all you are giving her knowing that she has you to lean on whenever she needs you for whatever. The way I see it, until I am getting something in return, you ain't getting anything from me. IF your wish is any kind of commitment, then yes - she is using you. What do you think she is doing the 23 hours of the day she is not talking to you? What do you think is taking up her time that could be spent responding to you in a timely manner? I would guess she ain't watching TV or reading. If I am you, I am loosing her number, then putting my time attention and money into me and my quest to find someone to share my life with who has the time and genuine interest in including me in their life. I am not saying this girl is a ho or anything, just saying it doesn't look like adding you to her personal schedule is not going to happen. Good luck to you :)
- ?Lv 611 months ago
I guess all you can do is play it by ear. See what happens. Maybe she had things to do that day. I don't know.
- ?Lv 711 months ago
It's hard to say.
Could you possibly be making dating choices mainly based upon whether someone likes you and you like them? Unfortunately this approach to dating, used by most people, usually leads to a broken heart.
May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).
My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), forget about this girl unless she’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of girl (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of woman is difficult to find - but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS Here are "21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person" from the book True Love Lasts:
1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)
2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating
3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)
4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question
5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around
6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)
7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you
8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful
9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you
10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you
11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet
12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes
13. Be known as a hard worker
14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)
15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all
16. Truly care about other people
17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable
18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this
19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person
20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you
21. Don’t act desperate for a date
Source(s): The book True Love Lasts - Anonymous11 months ago
you're getting used
- Anonymous11 months ago
Past experience tells me that your suspicions are probably right. Women never seem to say exactly what they mean. While it's not lying, their indirect answers give wrong impressions, with the same result as an outright lie. I've also noted that women initiate most divorces and most break-ups. I do not trust women. I do not think most women are naturally monogamous. Until she actually tells an outright lie or is caught screwing someone else, you will have to believe her, but do so with reservations. Chances are her stories will start to have some inconsistencies in them, and when you question her about them it will make her angry. When this happens, move on. Don't be surprised.