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? asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 8 months ago

Is this a normal reaction?

I am a male. I have had a few good chats with this woman i work with and felt like we were on nice platonic friendly terms, i was carrying some plastic flowers to make a window display and was walking towards her while she was facing away. I thought it would be funny to very lightly tap her on her far shoulder with a plastic flower so she would look the wrong way as i pass by her on her other side.

I was taken aback by her reaction, after predictably looking the wrong way, she turned toward me and said very coldly "Dont touch me".

As you can imagine, i dont even feel like talking to her anymore.

I have another female platonic friend who loves giving me hugs at the slightest opportunity, so i dont think im particularly repulsive or anything..

Update:

@bubula got it, can't have any fun at work... need to develop professionalism. I was feeling playful but not flirty, i dont flirt with platonic friends(because im not attracted to them). Also not sure why you would think i imagine her world revolves around me.

Update 2:

@VPR_0000 that could be it, she does get into a bad mood easily and i've let her unload her problems on me more than once. But i dont really want to continue being friends with someone who will take her bad mood out on me.

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    some people DO NOT liked to be touched. especially me, it just makes me uncomfortable probably because i don't receive much physical affection and im used to it. so it suprises me and makes me feel awkward when someone tries to hug me or tap my shoulder. (maybe she feels the same way i do, just guessing) and you really have no idea what she might be dealing with, maybe a bad day, or mood. just try talking to her about it. ask her if it's ok to hug her now and then, or gently put your hand on her shoulder. and if she says no, totally respect it. if she keeps up the bad mood, try asking whats wrong or politely say that you don't like when she speaks to you that way.

  • Seronyte
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    Could be a lot of things really. She could just be in a bad mood, she could have had childhood trauma, she could be turned off by guys she only sees as friends so she doesn't want them touching her. I'm thinking it's probably the third one.

  • bubula
    Lv 6
    8 months ago

    You've got a blind spot hon. A woman's discomfort in an office setting (or any other) is not necessarily a judgment of whether you are attractive or repulsive. Don't imagine her world revolves around you. Without meaning to, you clearly invaded her personal space. You were feeling playful and flirty, and she was probably feeling professional and focused. Instead of not talking to her anymore, write a two-sentence apology--"I'm sorry that what I did made you uncomfortable. It won't happen again."

    And then see if you can't develop some of the same professionalism.

    Best of luck.

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