Am I in the wrong in this situation?

Question

I’m 16 and I have a very good relationship with my parents. I’m quite independent and I keep my grades high. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been studying quite a bit for exams. I had one yesterday and two more next week. Today, I decided to take a break and sit in bed and watch Netflix for a couple hours. Then, I studied for about an hour and decided I would take a nap. My parents both told me that I’m lazy and I need to do something productive. My mom told me to organize the storage room (I told her I would get to it this week, not specifically today). My dad told me to go for a walk, even though it’s -20 C outside. I feel that I deserve a day to be lazy, I haven’t had one since Christmas. I try so hard to please them, and they do often show their appreciation. My average is a 90, which I do not think reflects a lazy person. I value my parents opinions very much, but I also think they’re being unreasonable now. Should I listen to them? Or is it okay for me to take a nap?

Update:

Staying up at night isn't an issue here. Naps don't usually affect my sleep at night. Also, I watched Netflix on the laptop that I paid for from my first job when I was 12. I've had a job ever since the summer after 6th grade and I now run a small e-commerce business. Cleaning the storage room was something that I said I'd do this upcoming week. I planned on getting to it on Wednesday and Thursday when my exams will be done.

Mike A · Accepted Answer

What I would do is give your parents a little recap on what you've been up to lately. They probably don't understand just how hard you're working. If you're sitting at a desk, all they likely see is you staring at a screen or typing. It may just be that they assume that because you might be smiling or laughing, that what you're doing is playing around. But I would just bring some proof of everything you're working on to the dinner table. Then tell your parents that you just need a day to relax and you'll be back on track with your studies and chores. I would present this in a calm, buisnesslike manner, and reassure them that you are taking everything seriously. You just need some rest.

And that's the best advice I can give

seedy history · Answer

You have your own private TV in your room? Right. No one is being too hard on you. In my home, the kids got good grades, studied a lot, had little jobs on the side and assigned housework that absolutely had to be done or were fined for it. Asking you to do something around the house instead of staying up most the night and sleeping during the day? It's not too much for them to ask. Most of life isn't about "wrong" or "right". It's about going along to get along. Not a power play. A participation activity.

? · Answer

Nope. Everybody's allowed to take breaks and relax every now and then.

Pearl · Answer

i would just wait till later to sleep if you want to keep the peace

bubula · Answer

It sounds as if you are stretching out your studying, which could indicate two things: You need time away from studying in order to process the information you've been taking in, or to clear your head because nobody can study intensely for very long periods. Netflix or a nap could serve that processing purpose. Or it may be you're not really engaged by the material and you're studying superficially, feeling rather bored, and looking for "reasonable" ways to get away from it. You know which is true.
Either answer demands action. If you're studying superficially--if there's a chance you're coasting by with an average of 90 when you know you could do better with more effort--then figure out what's holding you back and deal with it. If you need processing time or a mental break, by all means, take it, but you can get the same result--probably even a much better result--by going for a walk or doing something mindless like a household chore.
I really doubt is this Netflix break and this nap that set them off. More likely, they have detected a pattern they want to see you try to break.
Best of luck.

Anonymous · Answer

Why do you need a nap?    Often when people nap, it causes them to be not tired at bedtime.   Which means you stay up too late and then you're too tired to get up.   So you sleep too late or you need another nap.

Your parents think you are being lazy today and they are right.  You think you should get a day to be lazy.   That seems reasonable too as long as all your other responsibilities are taken care of, which they aren't, since your parents seem to think you aren't getting enough exercise or doing your share of chores.

Welcome to a glimpse of adulthood.   It's a whole lot of "have to".

Am I in the wrong in this situation?

6 Answers