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East
Lv 4
East asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 months ago

Mother keeps sending me unwanted gifts?

I am a middle-aged adult and live 600 miles away from my parents.  I haven’t seen them since last spring due to COVID-19 travel restrictions.  I am busy and mad at them so I don’t want to see them anyway.

My mother keeps sending me gifts that I don’t want: chocolate squares with fruit filling (which I just take to the office and leave for my coworkers to take), bric-a-brac that I don’t want (such as mugs with cute sayings on them), and homemade food that is stale by the time it arrives.

I assume that I need to just thank her each time I get one of these unwanted gifts and just throw them away?  There’s no way to politely get the gifts to stop?

Thanks.

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago
    Favourite answer

    This is tricky, because you probably feel bad about wanting to toss them, but it's equally true your mom probably loves putting this stuff together.  Unless she works full time and is super busy, she probably feels like she has no purpose in life.

    Is there any way you could suggest that one type of gift be discontinued, but you truly appreciate the rest?  For example, on the bric a brac, are there any local groups that have auction fundraisers?  For me, it's always animal shelters or rescues.  My sister is in a choral group and always gives them stuff like this for their auctions.  Keep all of it until you find a group who would LOVE to have it.

    Then figure out what to eliminate.  If the candy goes to work, to me this is a plus.  If her food arrives too stale to eat, clearly this is a negative.  

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    I wish I had a parent that loved me enough to send me gifts.

    :( So sad.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Mark "Return to Sender - Addressee refused" and stick back in the mail.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    3 months ago

    Hello concerned one always thank her but at the same time just calmly respectfully let her know you appreciate the thought but you really don’t need anything else right now and be honest it’s always the best policy so she won’t send candy unnecessarily etc. If they don’t know how will they not send things? Always honor your parents that’s what they do to show their love and that they are thinking of you but they can’t read minds. 

  • 3 months ago

    You can be polite and say, "Hey mom, I appreciate that you are thinking of me, however, it's not necessary to send gifts." Ask her to stop, if she doesn't, then continue to just donate/toss out the gifts. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    wish i had that problem, both my parents have been gone for yrs

  • 3 months ago

    They feel really fortunate that they had you and they are counting their blessings.

  • 3 months ago

    You should assume to resolve the differences you have with your parents.  That is what the gifts are about, to show you that they think about you often and miss you.  If you just stopped thinking about yourself for a second or two you would see that too and not only ACTUALLY be thankful for their efforts, return their love for you.  Stop pouting.

    Try talking to Mom and telling her you appreciate her efforts and give her a couple of ideas of what you might like to receive from her instead.  Give her some direction and maybe make a generous offer to return the favor to her.  Maybe there is something available where you live that isn't where she lives that she would value or like to experience for the first time.

  • 3 months ago

    sounds like she is reaching out and you aint doing a good job of responding why ? who cares how you feel about them what could they have possibly done to ignore the woman who craving your attention

    and gave you life ?

    accept the gifts atleast talk to the woman you live 600 miles away what is the harm? 

    and to be honest you sound like a child you need to grow up a little bit and say hit to the woman who probably wont have much time to live on earth as long as you do ....

  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Do not open them, give them back to the mailman, and mark the package, "Return to sender", and x out your name and address.

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