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Why does my housemate feel the need to slam doors?
She doesn't do it all of the time so she is capable of closing doors like a normal person.. but when she does 'get in the mood' she slams doors so hard it causes vibrations through the walls and floors. Is she trying to display how strong she is or something?(she's not)
3 Answers
- THE BANNIBAL ONELv 72 weeks ago
For me a door slammed in anger is outright the most painful expression of anger. It is a hostile and passive aggressive way of expressing anger. It is like saying “I am mad at you but I am not going to tell you why and and I going to take out this rage on the door“.
A slammed door sets out that one person is mad and another is at a loss for why that person is mad.
- Anonymous2 weeks ago
If I were a betting woman I'd bet a week's salary that she grew up in a household where slamming doors is the "normal" way to signal being in a bad mood, so it won't even occur to her that to normal people it comes across as over the top.
Lots of us have bad habits and strange things we think are "normal" that are more off putting to people than we realise. I'm of the opinion that it's a kindness to tell people that the thing they're doing is unpleasant/extreme/anti-social. Yes, it does lead to a few awkward days afterwards, but it resolves itself. Sometimes people need to be told and then they can make an informed decision about whether it's worth it to them to carry on with that behaviour.
Look, tomorrow when you're both grabbing breakfast broach the subject:
"Housemate, about that door slamming, I know that something put you in a mood yesterday but normal adults don't go around slamming doors like an angry 12 year old. It comes across as really aggressive and put everyone on edge. It's going to get weird with people if you keep doing that because they're going to expect you to start throwing stuff around for looking at you the wrong way. It makes an atmosphere that I'm sure you don't realise and don't want."
