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Do you think I deserve this because I'm a cheat with a married guy?

I know I will get trashed for this but I'm hoping someone may be kind.  I'm in a sexless marriage. Long story. Adult kids in 20s. I'm 47.  Hubby 70.  Affair partner 49.  Affair partner and I never had intercourse.   We know what we are doing is wrong. Going on 9 years.  We are business partners. Iv had to have therapy as iv been in a dark place over this. Hes very sweet to me. In 9 years we heavy Petted 3 times.  After each time iv felt very very low. Like a piece of trash. Yesterday was 3rd time. He didn't ring me today but dropped by tonight unexpectedly.   I was so angry with myself.   I feel so used

 I'm in love with him. Deeply.   We talk every day and he seems to really like me. I'm angry because he didn't check in with me after intimacy.   Am I unreasonable.  I know I'm not entitled to anything as this is all wrong. I'm not proud. Do you think he should have called?

12 Answers

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  • 6 days ago

    maybe you should take a break from relationships

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    Nine years with an affair partner and no sex?! Nice try troll.

  • 1 week ago

    So, without calling, he came to your home that you share with your husband?  My husband is in his mid-70's and he'd sure as heck be able to tell if I was in love with, desirous of, another man. You state that you have a sexless marriage.. is it also an affection-less marriage? Clearly, something needs to happen. If you allow yourself to feel guilty and low life  and have gone into therapy repeatedly over this desire/behavior of yours then, really, no one has suggested to you that you stop it? Or dive deeply into it? 

    What comes across here, to me, are multiple levels of self dishonesty. Come clean!  No, I don't see how this man you've carried on a flirtation with for 9 years, despite being a married woman... perhaps he's a married man (?), owed you a phone call to find out if you were OKAY after passionately kissing. There is nothing "entitled" here for anyone so I don't think you need to worry about that. 

    Are you waiting for your husband to die? Some people live decades longer than that. Of course your feelings for him have changed over the decades and the warnings people gave you decades ago about marrying a man 23 years your senior have now proven out to be the case.. for whatever reason. He was a lot older than you when you wed so he likely got tons of warnings from people about this marriage as well. Time for the two of you to have a talk! 

    Clear out your box of pain, dear. It's doing you no good at all. 

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 week ago

    Read the book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."

    This is men's nature.  We get close, then we retreat into our cave for a bit.  It's totally normal.  We need to recover from the closeness.  It's not a problem.

    Guys, let this be an example of how women are.  We all like the young ones.  Hot, juicy, sweet, soft, cuddly, etc.  They are everything we think we want.  That's all well and good, until we get some age on us.  Then, you can see right here their loyalty does not exist though we took very good care of them through all those years.  Now, this is the thanks we get.  This is the true nature of women.

    What's the fix?  Trade them in once they reach 30.  Buy you a sugar baby that goes home after your needs are met.

    .

  • 1 week ago

    Harlequin is looking for mystery romance writers......

  • 1 week ago

    Funny - three weeks ago you said you were a fifty year old virgin.

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    Florry, it's not what I think.  It's what I KNOW.  You range from 13 to 70+.  You are married, you are single.  You are male, you are female.  The only steady FACT is that you are an attention seeking child.

    .

    Yes, I think you deserve whatever happens to you..

    .

    “When can wife get back in sack after having kid...her 5th? Hi just wondering my missus is about to have our 5th kid in 4 weeks. Obviously theres not much happening in the bedroom. This is difficult for me for mans reasons. If she has section does that still mean 6 weeks plus out of action? I must admit I'm getting close to a woman who comforted me the last 4 times but I dont want to go there this time as this woman doesn't know my situation and it got tricky last time” https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20210...

    .

    “ Scared what my parents will do next....please help? I'm 16. Iv a sister aswell. We both have out own apartments but we too young to leave home. However my father wants to cut down our allowances.....we buy lots online and we have an Instagram account....how are we supposed to look good” https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20210...

    “Is getting drunk once per week really unusual for ppl in 50s? We don't drink only once per week but we drink 3 bottles wine in one sitting with dinner. A blow out. Feeling very guilty about this”

    https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20210...

    “So upset over no baby? I'm so upset. Just got period. I'm 35yrs old. Iv got 2 boys and 1 girl. I want to finish my family b4 I'm too old. My kids are 6 4 and 2yrs. I wanted this to be over by 35   I want another girl to complete my family. Why cant I get what I want. We are trying for a whole7 weeks” https://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20...

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 week ago

    I think you can’t keep your story straight. In some of your questions you are a 50 year old virgin, in other questions you’re 48 and he’s 63....so overall I think you’re just a troll.

  • 1 week ago

    I do not. you are expecting too much from him and he may stop bothering with you if you continue to be like that

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    This is EXACTLY what happens behind the scenes when young women get suckered into a relationship with an older and predatory man.

    If your kids are in their 20's and you're 47 now that means you had kids in your early 20s with a man who was in his late 40's or early 50s.

    These May December relationships are destined to have things unfold in such a way.

    You now realize you have nothing in common with a 70 year old man and a sexless marriage.

    Just divorce your husband and find a man your own age. 

    Your business partner is cheating on his wife and sounds like trash.

    This is a ticking time bomb

    *This is a cautionary tale for all the young women in their late teens and 20s who laugh in the face of women in their 30s and 40s and have old men pursuing them for their youth and they can't even see what's coming until they get older and get stuck with an old man they have nothing in common with.

    I feel very little sympathy for your husband being cheated on, he sounds like a CREEPER

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