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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 week ago

Can other migrants relate to this?

I have a migrant background and I have trouble with falling in love. I just seem unable to feel love or have crushes like girls my age do. I see my classmates as enemies, or people I should be better than in school subjects. I never had a crush on the so called cutest guy of the school. I always saw him as a spoiled kid, I seemed to be unable to feel feelings or have crushes on such guys. I am jealous that they are local and have already everything, while I have to start from the beginning. This feeling never goes away. I only like studying and taking good grades or focusing on my hobbies. Because of the fact that I don't have a boyfriend most girls don't befriend me.

3 Answers

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    6 days ago

    Your migrant background has nothing to do with this.

    Being a teen doesn’t mean you have to be in love with someone during high school. Or even want to date. Plenty of teens don’t date or have sex or drink. 

    Not having a boyfriend has nothing to do with girls not liking you. My daughter never dated through HS, she had both male and female friends. She took all honor and AP classes and a high GPA.  She spent most of her free time taking dance and music lessons and performing. 

    My son didn’t date until after high school. 

    You are not the only new student in the whole high school. Student come and go during the four years of HS. Many families move out and in to the area. 

    We moved when my son was in middle school. He didn’t know anyone. 

    You feeling that other classmates are you enemy and you should be better than them is concerning. You don’t have friends because they feel you don’t like any of them. You go around feeling they are the enemy that are going to lick up on that, if you speak to them or not.

    You have hobbies, so find other teens with your hobbies. My son plays WarHammer. Strategic board games. He started a club at HS.  If he can find others that liked his hobby, you can find others that like your’s. 

    If you like studying and getting good grades then find other student like you. My daughter hung around the other AP students. You would always find them at the public library over the weekend doing school work. 

    There is ALWAYS going to be someone who is smarter than you or has better grades than you. There is always someone prettier, richer, more popular.  That doesn’t make them your enemy. Quit competing against everyone at school. 

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    Well, since you say you're still in school and the girls in your school have crushes, then it could also be that you're simply not there yet. I was a late developer myself. I didn't get the crushes of my girly-girl classmates either. At one point even made up a boyfriend/crush in another city just so they'd get off my back with the "who do you like?" and "don't you think Kenneth is cutest boy in school?". One of my best friends back then was a boy and they just didn't seem able to wrap their heads around us just being friends either, so that was another advantage of the imaginary boyfriend.

    What I do find worrying is that you see your classmates as enemies and that you're jealous of them being local. My family moved around when I was a kid, but I've always made it a point to make friends every time we moved to a new place, and I've always found good friends. Usually not the popular girls, though, because I found it difficult to relate to their make-up, fashion shows, boy talk, boy band fandom etc. but there were luckily lots of other types of kids as well.

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    I think what is happening is that you just haven't met the right guy yet. With that being said, I do not think you are doing a lot in wrong in your efforts to meet people; you just need to keep it up and put yourself out there as much as possible in order to increase the odds. Hence, if you are struggling to fight guys who you are attracted to then start frequenting environments where you are likely to meet guys who you will have something in common with. Doing this will obviously increase your chances of meeting guys who you will share a chemistry with. For example, joining various social groups, going to church functions and playing team sports are all great ways of meeting like minded individuals. Lastly, if you are looking to date then I would not commit yourself emotionally to this guy until you are sure of what his intentions are. This will prevent you from getting hurt. I really hope that this helps :)

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