What should I do after my verbal battle with my wife’s sister?

Question

My wife recently had surgery and had a rough time when she went home from the hospital. I took care of my wife and helped her through the tough time she had as well as trying to keep things as normal as possible for our two young children. I was busy. Apparently I angered my wife’s control freak of an older sister because I didn’t call her with a daily update. I was supposed to be calling her dad and not her. My wife talked to her dad right after she woke up from the operation to let her know she was fine. I didn’t call her dad because I was busy dealing with everything. I am sorry for that. My wife’s sister thought I was cutting off access to my wife and got pushy my wife and me. She and I got into a verbal battle during her visit to our home because I questioned her respect for us. She snapped and started crying and screaming and told me my being busy was not good enough of an excuse for not calling her. She angrily left our home. I told my wife what happened and apologized to her for all of this. My wife told me this fight was probably going to happen because that her sister talked a whole bunch of trash to her about me and did this in front of her family at a party. Some of her family told her to calm down because I was busy being a husband and a dad. I am really ticked off at my wife’s sister and I don’t care if she is hurt by what happened. But now she is not talking to my wife who is still recovering from surgery because of it. What should I do?

Dr. Stephanie · Accepted Answer

The expectation that you should be calling everyone daily for an update is too much, inappropriate. They become more of a burden than a help.  Be glad that she's not talking...its a favor ! You have terrible inlaws !  Avoid them, unless they can behave like proper grown ups. Your wife needs to confront them, its her family.

Anonymous · Answer

It is customary for one person to be a contact point for the rest of the family. Not everyone gets an individual update. You should not have to repeat your wife’s condition over and over to every family member. Besides, is her hand broken? Why wasn’t she calling you?

Sapper · Answer

You should do nothing, just keep taking care of your wife...

Anonymous · Answer

Be grateful the b*tch is not talking to either of you. Seriously!! She’s toxic. 
The problem isn’t that you didn’t call the sister with updates, the problem is that the sister doesn’t like you and is trying to cause problems. I feel sorry for you and your wife. This may be a great time to rethink the relationship with her. Push her out of your life. Anyone trying to cause problems during a difficult time like this toxic. 
As long as you and your wife realize that she is trying to cause problems and don’t cave into her demands and stand united she has no power over you.
But you must be on the same page
Good luck!

Claude Have Mercy · Answer

Nothing, **** that old *****!

? · Answer

Do nothing, maybe cut the bit-*ch out of your lives.

Barb Outhere · Answer

What should you do? Nothing. 
You were doing what you needed to do to care for your family and were so busy. Another family member - her Dad - had the contact with your wife. Making many phone calls to keep everyone in touch is silly when you had so much else to deal with. The sister could have rung her Dad for the extra details, or your wife herself, if it was so important for her to know.

lala · Answer

Let your wife deal with her sister

BY what you are saying its not a family who knows bondry

And they like fighting

AS a dad its your duty to protect  your 2 young kids from any drama

ITS very upsetting for any age

much worst for kids

i + i · Answer

Interesting how your drama never ends 
with this family, that you claim rely on 
your wife for advice on everything.

Ficelle · Answer

Kit her out of your house.
You owe her nothing.

What should I do after my verbal battle with my wife’s sister?

10 Answers