dany

what is the most gothic vegetable?

Every time I turn on the computer I think that my dog bangle speaks english language like my uncle only when the computer turns on. Is my uncle bangle speaking top me through the computer?

I need to kill the computer because bad files got in it? COuld I GOT O JAIL FOR COMPUTER FILES? I need to euthanise? PUT DOWN the computer. I need the computer to be no more?

Hi I am in school in the 12th grade and 3 days ago some kind of teacher came into my class room and said that we need to write an article real fast real good. He did not proviude instructions? I need to write an article? I need to WRTIE an article? I need a safe and non permanent way to cripple this teacher so that I don['t need to write teh artcile. I need instructions on how to build a blue drone with a beanbag bazooka. I want it to shoot ball bearings instead of beans in the bean bag. It must be blue. I dont write the article because my uncle is a journalist, he made my father not speak for 5 years due to sensual tongue deflection and unclenchition with rodent harmonic sequence.

Hi I want to run git push origin $BRANCH instead of typing the current branch name. How do I do that? If your answer is create an alias for the entire push or anything else I didn't ask for then you need not apply

Hi I am not going to go into too many details but basically 17 hours ago I was in the kitchen cooking up a mayonnaise sandwich when suddenly I noticed a stick insect on the corner of the window. Then I had a fantastic idea.... SO not to go into too much detail, but I inserted the stick insect directly into my urethra and it struggled for 32 minutes before eventually succumbing to the sweet release of death. Man it feels SO GOOD.

SO. I can't pee anymore. it has been 17 hours and no ppee.l SAOon it is going to be too much and I will need to pee? Maybe I can add a tap directly to my bladder. If I do that then frankly what purpose does my necrotic urethra really serve? It is turning black and bulging like a rotten fruit so I don't think it is going to come back from this final adventure. Do I actually need a urethra to live or can I do without it?

I have gangrene of the face and my left hand fell off. Therefore, I decided to name my child a name with some missing letters because I feel like this child took those from me by causing me to get gingivitis of the body.????? Harlot????

Hello are there any automotive taxes or fees that are explicitly christian? I am a christmas myself?

Hi I think John Lennon is the hitler of 2020 in fact, while hitler was a product of his time, John Lennon was the kind of evil that casts a shadow over the historyu books. I think that we need to dig up his remains so that we can spit on them one more time and teach anybody else who wants to be like that that they will sufffer at the hands of people with good taste. His wife is very lovely. I will woo her.

I think it is a beautiful name. I have never met a Kelvin who wasn't frightfully delicious and sexy.

I am going to name my daughter soon as she is going to be born. I am a male computer user from texas. I want to name my daughter Angel or Pepsi. I know Pepsi is a brand name but it's a good drink and it's a family name from my immigrant ancestors.

Hi I am a 21 year old caucasian male with slim build and a slight heart murmur. Can I learn the piano?

I know that on christmas day you are meant to wait until lunch time to have a glass of wine but when can you start to smoke crack? I like to smoke crack when I wake up honestly, so how long must I wait before my family think I am a druggo? I want crack but I don't want to look like a druggo.

I am wondering if I am on crack. 17 minutes ago I saw a tank driving on the road while I was driving my red nissan and I followed the tank for 10 minutes and then they ran over a car and I looked and my pet dog danny burgerhouse was driving the car and he got crashed by the tank and then the army man got out of the tank and then the gut who had been driving the tank was me???? confusing.

That was 7 minutes ago so I am wondering if I am on crack. Now I am safe at homne on the computer but my dog danny burtherhouse keeps screaming

HI IC took my mouse to school to get it to the school nurse because it has AIDS, HIV, avian botchulism, COVID, Cripple, bed sores, homoerotic tendencies, clapping disease, autism, goose fat, type 1 diabetes, type 2 diabetes, diabetes and aids in the same organism syndrome, dropsy, cancer, the common flu, the bends, bird flu, swine flu, chinese virus, etc etc etc.

I walked down the hall with my mouse in my pocket and the big nosed assistant principal sniffed real hard so hard his nostrils flared and twitched and twisted and he rubbed his hands together menacingly and laughed a lot. Then he pulled a 12 guage shot gun with the handle sawn down out of his coat and shot it straight into my pocket here the mouse was kept. the whole mouse BLEW UP??? How can I get revenge on him? I am considering injecting him with a live mouse to live under his skin. Under his skin mouse **** will piler up like hes' an old lounge chair in an old lady's house who has dropsy or some other disease that induces chronic and uncurable laziness.

Anyway the school nurse fixed my mouse, now it is alive and better than ever.

3 days ago I was at the farm with my grilfriend and her parents and her dog. They were having a family discussion about whether hotdogs are better dry or wet and I was getting bored after having made some sweat so I decided to hop on the tractor and destroy some native flora and fauna. Anyway I rode around on there most of the afternoon, I got off at about 5pm because we were having dinner at 6pm and I figured I needed to clean the tractor and then have a shower. ANyway I was checking out what was stuck to the blades of the field slasher attachment and found one dog. Big win for the good guys!!! I don't want to come across like an asshole but I do kind of need to let her know I am very pleased with this development?

Hi today I was in the kitchen of my house after school smacking together a peanut and sardine sandwich when my dad came into the house and he seemed a bit odd, his eyes looked a bit red, and when he saw my sandwich he said something like "Make sure you don't choke on the ******* sardine bones, I don't need to go to my son's funeral because of a goddamn fish". My dad is not normally a worrier so I found this very weird. Why Would he start thinking about my death just because of sardines? This is when I suspected he was on speed.

Later on me and my mother were watching the biggest loser UK on tv and he came into the room with a knife sticky taped to the end of a broom stick and cut all the cords to the tv and turned off all the lights in the house, then he opened all the windows again using the brooomstick and staying away from the walls. He told us to stay away from the walls and to sit still, then a lot of tiny bats flew in the windows and came into our house. My dad went to his office and got a quadruple barrelled shotgun and started trying to shoot the bats and he was screaming ofhhh my dear he was screaming it was so incredible, he was agitated in extremis. He shot my mother in the stomach because he thought she was a sexy female police officer. Does this happen when speed junkies get their fix of speed? Crack Cocaine?

Hello I tried to eat the chicken but it;s still clucking and now it's biting me in the interior organ. How do I eat the chicken properly next time? THis time I am gonna have to drink 1 L of lighter fluid and roast that damn chicken. On the plus side chicken roast inside my body is a very good taste and very delicious

Hi my uncle was flying a big blue drone in my house window and I got mycat skinning knife from the kitchen and tried to cut it up, but when I went back up stairs, my uncle was drop dead naked in my bed with the blue drone. I went and got the chainsaw from the bathroom and cut him in two./ Now they are keeping me in the funny farm because they are in with him and the jews are running my life. How do I escape?

yesterday I saw one hitchhiker and she wanted a ride so I said she could ride my camel and we can make love on the camel if she wants then she said no thankyou but then I saw her get in a car later why are women such vapid idiots?