Why are so many TTC people not married?

It SHOULD be typical to wait until you're married, even several years after you're married. Sadly, it doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

I'll never understand why someone would want to try to have a child with someone if they aren't committed enough to know they want to marry the person...

I dont really have any one way beliefs on this topic, I do kinda believe that people should be married before having children simply because of all the teenage pregnancies out there make me sick, to see teenagers walking around with babies, and such, boyfriends, and girlfriends obviously dont really know what they want unless they are already engaged to one another... but if your old enough and mature enough and have been with one person for more then 3 years then why not, but if theres any type of arguments between the two of you more frequent then there should be then NO I dont believe you should be ttc

I agree with the OP. I guess having morals and wanting a good, stabile life for my baby is sooo 1958!

It is alot more common on this website unfortunately and not all good. Some of them either sound like they are 14 or are very uneducated. Some girls nowadays think it's ok to be 16 or 17 and have 4 kids by the time they are 21 by 3 different men while on welfare. It's so sad and it ends up being a viscous circle that is ruining this society with gangs, drugs and violence.

My boyfriend and I are TTC, and honestly neither one of us see's marriage in our future. We are in love yes, but we just are not into the whole "marriage thing". We will be together for 8 years in November.

I dont think people have to be married to have children or be good parents. They just have to understand raising a child is a big responsibility and a life time commitment, and i truly believe each child deserves two loving parents.

It doesn't take a married couple to have children, it takes loving people. And may i add that over HALF of marriages end in divorce anyways, and that is something painful for children to go through...

Of course this is my opinion, i hope no one is offended!

Baby dust to all....

There is a right way & a wrong way to do things, and having children before getting married is just plain wrong- and SELFISH! These people don't give a crap how this "situation" will affect their kid. Kids know when something is odd, and feel bad when their mommy & daddy don't love & trust each other to be legally married.

What an awful example for their children!

And the reason for all the divorces is that people either get married too young when they don't know what kind of person is compatible to them AND lots of people marry the wrong person simply due to bad judgement.

Just because u aren't married when u have a baby doesn't mean u have no morals. That's ridiculous. There are women in the world who just want a child...but need some sperm. If that's your choice, so be it. I know a lady who married a man, they got divorced, he got in an accident and killed both of their children. Maybe she is traumatized from marriage, U just never know. With a 50% divorce rate, I say do what makes u happy..if a harmonious and loving life doesn't include marriage...nothing wrong with that.

Well, because I am personally TERRIFIED of getting married. The divorce rate here in Oklahoma (I think maybe even the entire United States) is a whopping 50%.

I have watched friends and family go through divorce... and they were such happy couples- There's no telling who's going to make it and who's not. It's really sad. I just figure I'll COMMIT instead of MARRY. Just in case.... the unthinkable yet very possible happens.

And if someday **** hits the fan.... at least it won't cost us our good credit and a bunch of court fees!

That's a very old-fashioned opinion! Really, things have changed and moved forwards so much since the "married, wait a while and have children" saga. Marriage can be over-rated. Some people just choose not to do so - that is perfectly fine, it's how they can provide for their baby that matters.

Because you don't have to be married to be in a committed relationship with someone and to want a baby with said person. There are many couples, that are not married, who have been together for YEARS... so why shouldn't they be able to have babies?

My husband and I were married 3 years before having our baby(April of this year) but that doesn't make us any different than those that are not married and choose to have children as well.

Because the morals in our country have gone down the drain when they took God out of schools, made society a discipline free zone for kids and told people that "I'm Ok, You're Ok". No one has any respect for self or morals anymore. In this day and age people do these things because why should someone buy a cow when they get the milk for free?

I agree with you, children should come AFTER marriage and NOT before. This is why we have so many people on welfare raising their kids, teen pregnancy is so high and people that can't get their life together because no one wants to commit to a responsible choice that seems "old fashioned" anymore. It's also why so many people worry about STD, "my baby's daddy wont___ so should I ___" type questions etc... It's time we got back to some old fashioned values in this country where it used to be shameful if your son got someone pregnant or your daughter ended up pregnant as teenagers because people respected the sanctity of family and marriage, not to mention, they actually disciplined their children and had famiy values rather than suppers in a sack, running all over the place for activities and schedules, computers and internet or media telling us "how to live our lives". It's like we've forgotten to think for ourselves and when that happened so did common sense and values.

I agree with you. The way I was raised and my beliefs say that you should be married even before having sex let alone TTC. I feel like my husband and me are ready to start a family right know. We have been married for 2 years and 6 months and we are ready for that next step in our life together. Not only that but we are Praying about this and making sure that this is what God wants not what we want. We are just praying that it will happen in his time not ours and during that time just to give us courage, knowledge, strength and patience. For those that are worried about getting a devorce...I would recommend that you and your BF go to church together, pray, and seek God will. Make sure that the person you are with is the one that God wants you to be with. I completly agree with you!!