Why can't I get over my ex?

Question

My ex-boyfriend and I went out from 1999-2005. We broke up and I married and divorced and he has had a kid while we were broke up. We got back together for 6 months a year and a half ago and broke up again. He was abusive that's why we broke up and if he weren't abusive we would still be together. He's the only person I ever loved and my family hated him because he's black (i'm white). Currently i'm in a relationship with a white guy. He is opposite of my type and he's good to me and my kids but I can't get over my ex. It's like my ex and I are together even when we aren't. I know if I go to my ex's house he would cheat on whomever he's with to be with me and I feel I would do the same. We have both been there before. Why do I act like this? I'm in a good relationship but the chemistry will never be there. Why? Plus my current boyfriend likes porn and video games, which is no big deal. He lets me always have my way on everything, totally babies me, lets me use him as a doormat and that bothers me. My ex used to argue with me to get his point across, never babied me, and I respected him for it. I was totally submissive to him by choice. My current boyfriend has a job and I totally supported my ex which both of these scenarios are fine with me. Money don't mean anything. I know i'm screwd up but why?

Update:

I don't like to be abused. I put my ex in jail for abuse and my son's dad before him was abusive and I put him in jail too.

xxFairy Nemoxx · Accepted Answer

Maybe its because the relationship was long
I don't think people ever get over their ex's
Its just nature
This guy sounds really nice
And the fact your ex used to beat you makes it hard
I can understand 
Maybe you should just try being friends with your ex
And if that doesn't work
Ten try it again
You cant ignore your feelings
If you like him then you like him

Good luck x

L . V . · Answer

The chemistry with your current boyfriend isn't there because you're still longing for your ex. You seem to like people who are disrespectful to you. Have you wondered why that is? Your ex was abusive, your current watches porn. Both (though in different degree) have no respect for women. I can't give you a deeper opinion on this, but I can give you advice. Do not go back with your ex even if you want to, feel like it, or he comes back. Someone who has been abusive will continue to do so, and the fact that he has had you even after having abused you, shows him that he can do it to you again and again, because even that didn't push you away from him. Start by resolving your own problems first; that will help you see clearly why you are going after someone that even you recognize is not good for you. Good luck!

? · Answer

wow! you sound like onw of those women who just want someone abusive. you still want your ex because you know you can still have him. It's hard getting over a first love but sometimes you got to do what you got to do. and if your new bf is watching porn you need to break him of it. that's complete disrespect to you

Anonymous · Answer

your not over him that is why

Why can't I get over my ex?

4 Answers