Has anyone adopted with a less-than-supportive extended family?

My ap's did. It was a horrible way to grow up, too. Especially because my ap's had their own biological child.

It is NOT a good idea to adopt when you have children of your own. It throws the adoptees differences in their face every single day. Your biological children have a connection with you that any child you adopt will never have. Its impossible, as adopted children are not related to you. While their love for all three of us (2 adopted, one bio) was the same,the bond was different. But the love some of our extended family had for us WAS different. Not everyone is capable of loving a stranger;s child.

Adopting an older child from foster care when your bio kids are much older is a better solution, but still not ideal. Your 8 yr old, 4 yr old and infant have no idea as to what adoption means. It is not fair to them to bring a stranger into their home. Adopted children have special emotional needs. It is not fair to them, either.

We were blessed with full support. I wanted to address, from my point of view, the idea of not adopting when you have bio kids.

Seeing as you have three kids already...any addition will be a stress on them to a degree. This is normal. But bringing adoption into the mix is a complication I think you should avoid. The love may be the same but the bond isn't exactly the same. The adoptee will always feel a difference between what they perceive love for them...vs love for the bio kids. Kids have a way of making it all about themselves (nature of the beast) so I think each will have their own take on how they are inadequate.

Their ages are also problematic for how they will process this "intrusion". Please don't ignore what people who have been adopted are saying. I am sure their parents didn't foresee this "as their future" either. You have the benefit of their experience whereas their folks didn't.

Wait until the kids are older.

Our second son's first mom would not have wanted her son in a home with a bio child. That was one of her concerns...that her son would feel "wrong" in a home with biological children. It makes sense.

Enjoy your family.

It is their opinion that you should not adopt because you already have biological children. Please do not make a major life decision because of the opinions of people you have never met on YA. You made a good point saying "Isn't it asking a lot for only non-children homes to adopt children?" There are already too many children in foster care that will never find homes. If only couples without bio-children were allowed to adopt, there would be even more children in foster care that will never find a permanent home. Do what you think is best for your family and the future of a possible adopted child.

I always suspected growing up my grandmother on my dads side had that attitude with my sister and i as she always showered our cousins with gifts but with us not so much.... She died when i was 8 and it's sad but because of a couple of childhood memories i never particulary liked her (My grandfather her husband on the other hand who died when i was 18 was the complete opposite and a wonderful man, i still miss him)

What i'm trying to say is at the end of the day you have to do what you think is right by you, Maybe sit down with your parents and have a heart to heart talk with them and just explain that this child whilst not blood related will become part of the family and you hope he can respect that because treating the child any differently is being indirectly disrespectful to you.

I'm sure he'll come around after all you're doing a great thing and providing a life to a child who may not otherwise have had one

This is in answer to all of this... My older brother is another man's child. My little brother and I are a loser's children. My dad adopted and loved all of us equally since the beginning, even though we aren't biologically his, and look nothing like him. I know that when my bio-sperm-donor's mother got things for me and not my big brother, I was furious. It was always hidden until the divorce, but I found out on my own one day and stood up for my brother. My mother was also adopted by her parents, and her mom's bff was against it, saying that my Mamaw couldn't possibly love my mom as much as she would a bio child. That's a complete lie, and the chick learned to shut up around my mother. My mother actually knows nothing about this. Anywho, it's not up to your father, and you can let him know that if he treated the kid badly, then he can miss out on all of his grandkids. Your children are excited, and you and your hubby love the idea of welcoming another child into your home and hearts. Go for it!!!!!

P.S. Introducing a child into a home where you have bio-children as well creates no issues unless they are not loved the same. Really, if they're from another culture or like different things, teach everybody to celebrate it. Trust me on this.

Both of our grandsons are adopted and we love them dearly. Our only disappointment is that neither daughter wanted a girl. Oh, well.

My parents adopted my cousin when he was 12. His mother, my aunt, would leave him with her five siblings for a few months each, then take him home for a while until his stepdad started hitting him again. When he came to my parents for the second time, my mother told her sis-in-law that she would take him on the condition that she leave him there and not come back for him. That turned the rest of Dad's family against her, since their Sis could do no wrong. She recognized it was better for her boy (he's now 82), but the family still resented Mom. Mom only cared about doing right by Donald.

The Philippines use to be an best pal of the united statesA. Now they undesirable mouth the united statesA. each threat they get. they're no longer acquaintances of the united statesA. they use the united statesA. they're attempting to kiss as much as China and that i wish while China starts off calling interior the favors they have given to the Philippines they're going to enable the country to be self sustaining because of the fact the U.S. did. in actual fact on the 2d the Philippines needs the U.S. extra desirable than the U.S. needs the Philippines. The U.S. does no longer could desire to have a base interior the Philippines to any extent further because of the long variety planes and missiles. The Philippines does little to combat international terrorism they can't even administration terrorism of their own united states of america. many human beings that have fun the U.S. and Philippines relationship from international conflict II want our friendship develop into as sturdy because it develop into the comparable, yet concern as quickly as we are all long previous the extra youthful era interior the U.S. won't provide crap for the Philippines. Getting kicked interior the tooth gets previous after a on an identical time as even for us older human beings.

I know TONS of families including ours with existing biological children who have adopted and many of those adopted children are now adults. I will defend it every day all day. My son is our bio child and my daughter is adopted.

My mom was luke warm and now she beats herself up over those original feelings. She loves my daughter and son with a passion that is a little overwhelming sometimes.

Yeah, my husband;s brother was adopted into a family where the grandparents had that attitude

The 'real' kids got Christmas presents from the grandparents but the adopted son didn't

Don't bring a kid into that environment, it's so hurtful to the kid

. consider again you already have a family