Is it wrong that I really don't care about my family?

My mom is one of 4 kids, my grandma is 91 years old and I have 4 cousins. Three older and one just 18 months younger than me. For as long as I can remember, I have been at the center of every fight my mom has gotten into with her siblings and their spouses.

My family had expected me to be some wild child trouble maker and I actually turned out to be a good kid.

Due to my parents divorce and the request of my deceased grandfather, when I was about 2 and a half, my mom and I moved in with my aunt and grandparents, and we have been living here since then. (I'm 23)

Growing up, my cousins always felt that I always got more than they did, and my mom's brother in law and sister in law always felt that my mom was living the free life. Because we do a lot with my aunt and grandma, such as vacations and other things like that. But it's not, both my mom and I are in debt to my aunt because she has loaned us money for various things such as car repairs, medical bills, regular bills and so forth. Even though my mom and I don't pay rent, we contribute to the house in other ways, such as doing the food shopping and other things needed in the house.

Growing up, my grandma was my care-taker, she made my lunch in the morning, got me up and ready for school, took me to the bus, and would pick me up after school, and would help me with my homework. Then when I started college, my grandma gave up driving so that I could use her car for school and for work, which lead to me becoming her care taker, and I have never complained about it. My grandma makes all her appointments around my school and work schedule, and because of that, I know everything that's going on with her health wise.

This past June, my grandma had a health scare, and hasn't been the same since. I even took this semester off from school to take of her, because we have been having a hard time getting the approval for aids to be home with her.

Recently my aunts and uncles have suddenly shown some great concern, but not in any way that is helpful to me or my aunt and mom. Both my mom and aunt feel that it's my aunt and uncle's mom too and they should help out, but both my aunt and uncle have very controlling spouses who need to have a say as well. My cousins are no help because they don't even pick up a phone to call her, and in my younger cousin's case (she's 22) will argue with her mom about how it cuts into whatever plans she has.

I don't complain about having to take care of my grandma and I don't ask for help from any of my cousins nor my aunts and uncles because I know they're not going to help unless they expect something in return.

My friends are actually more helpful then my own relatives. Anyways, there was a "family meeting" and I wasn't there because I had to work, but it was supposed to be concerning my grandma, and my mom ended up walking out saying that they can't call it a family meeting because I wasn't there.

There's so much I need to say to everybody, but at this point, I see its not even worth it. In fact, I actually don't even want to be in the same room as these people.

For some reason, I always felt like you need to be loyal to your family, because in the end they're all you have. At this point, I have zero loyalty to them, and I'm sick of being the better person in many situations.

So I was just wondering, is it okay to feel this way about them?

It might seem funny, but I have actually written a letter to Dr. Phil, but I never actually sent it because I don't even think he could help us, and I know the act that everybody would put on.

I know that when may grandma goes, my mom will have no relationship with her siblings except for her sister that she lives with.

So again, if its not hurting anybody, is it okay to have this burning hate towards

my cousin ( who makes everything a competition and swears that I am jealous of her),

hate my aunt ( her mom who created and continues to add fuel to the fire of problems between my cousin and I)

lack in any respect to my uncle who's wife has him by the balls to the point that I can't even have a relationship with him (she swears that I try to use him as a father figure, since my dad is dead, and wasn't really there to being with)

zero respect for my two cousins who live right over the bridge and can't even pick up a phone to call my grandma, nor bring her to see her great grand children.

Think my aunt and uncle are a bunch of jokes who can't even face me, because they know they're ****** up?

There are really only two people who have been hurt in all this because my relatives don't like my mom, and me, and that's just my aunt and grandma who I live with. And that's what bothers me more than anything.