Fear of Abandonement :((!!!?

Question

Basically I have realized that one of my biggest fears is abandonment. I know most people fear this but I have it extremely bad and in most cases I cannot tell anyone about it because it would result in me telling secrets and people getting mad. But right now I fear abandonment more than ever and I am just wondering if what I am going to explain sounds selfish at all...

My best friend and I are pretty close to this guy that is in our friend group. I more than her because he has said that he is much closer to me than her. A few weeks ago she told me that she fancies him. My heart sank and I felt like I couldn't move. I wondered if I fancied him too but I quickly dismissed that thought because I obviously don't have those feelings for him. Me and him hug a lot and he's really nice to me so I like having him around. Over the past weeks I have been fearing she will tell him that she fancies him. Reason being that I don't want him to take advantage of that and stop spending time with me and go off with her just for the fact that she fancies him. And last night my fears came true, she told him over text and I am worried when I walk to school with them today that my worst fears are going to erupt again.

I have been abandoned so much in the past by friends and I am so scared that he'll start paying more attention to her rather me. Also that they'll become more friends and my best friend and him will both leave me. I am protective over the friendships I have and I get attached to people. I hate myself for being this attached, but what if he does leave me for her? Why am I so worried about this? Is this selfish? Please help me out, I am in a fit of worries right now. Any help appreciated!!! Thank you!!!

Anonymous · Answer

I think there is much more at play here than you have said.

You need to understand/discover where this fear of abandonment comes from....only then can you rationalise the present situation. Do you see what I mean? Once you understand why you tend to fear abandonment - you can understand why it is you feel the way you do now. That will help you devise a plan to deal with your emotions.

You may need to see a counsellor to delve deeply into your past. Or, you may just be experiencing the confusion that comes when emotions play havoc while you grow up

Universeone · Answer

You need strategy and build your mind and body as attractive and superior to others.
Then ppl will admire your beauty, your ability and worm great charactor.
My tips
1. Do daily exercise to make you relax and sexy looking.
    Take balanced food. Then you will be relaxed, bright minded and nice looking. Then ppl will wanted be friend of you.
2. Do hard study to get future good job. Then you will have hope. Ppl will think you as a important and smart lady.
3. Read a lot of good books about life to get proper target of life. Then you will have overall concept of life.
Then ppl will respect you.
4. Do never show your crushed mind to other guys. Then they will lost interest on you . Then the guy will abuse you or dump you. Instead, make him try to get your love. Make him crush on you.
Keep clean , pure and smart image. Then guys will crushed on you.

Keep continue as above, whole of your life will turn to your side and there is no more fear of abandonment.

Fear of Abandonement :((!!!?

2 Answers