How do you approach your husband about finding out that he has been chatting live on a porn site?

GET OUT!!!!! NOW!!!

NEXT WEEK I HAVE TO TESTIFY AGAINST MY HUSBAND OF 14 YEARS FOR C.PORNOGRAPHY. HE STARTED OUT THE SAME WAY. HE WILL CONTINUE, IT WILL GET WORSE, TIL YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CANNOT LEAVE. HIS FAMILY ALWAYS PUT ME DOWN, BUT LAUGHED SAYING THEY WERE JOKING. HE ABUSED ME EMOTIONALLY, SEXUALLY AND PHYSICALLY. CUT ALL CONTACT. HE KEPT CALLING AND I WAS STILL UNDER CONTROL. I HAVE MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE, BUT HE NEVER WOULD LET ME LEAVE.

I HAD TO TURN HIM IN....

PLEASE EMAIL ME AND I CAN TELL YOU MORE.

I THOUGHT I DIDN'T DESERVE ANYTHING BETTER.

I AM NOT IN A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP, STILL TRYING TO GET DIVORCED EVEN THOUGH HE IS GOING TO JAIL.

I NOW SEE IT WAS HIM WITH THE PROBLEM, THEY WILL ALWAYS TRY TO BLAME YOU.

PLEASE DON'T STAY. I AM TELLING YOU THIS FROM SOMEONE WHO STAYED FOR THE SAKE OF HER CHILDREN.

NOW MY KIDS STAY WITH MY PARENTS IN THE SAME CITY AND THEY ARE FINALLY ABLE TO HAVE STABILITY AND WE NO LONGER HIDE....

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He's doing it because for lack of a better word it's a phobia. Not to mention that he is under the impression that since the last time he's taken extra precautions to ensure he doesn't get jammed up again. Apparently he isn't as slick as he may believe.

I for one have never been a fan of counseling. in fact I think it's a huge waste of money. But what isn't a waste is that this time you have to really put the fear of God in him and lay down the law. If he balks and argues with anything you may say then he's either testing the waters to see just how big a set of balls he can get before you cut them off or he just doesn't give a damn what you think and feel.

Although you hate to treat your spouse like a child perhaps those type of measures...like locking him completely out of the computer...would curtail his amorous activities. This isn't to say he can go elsewhere and do this but lets face it.....jerking off in the public library at their terminal is frowned upon by people.

As a last resort tell him enough is enough and you'll file for a legal separation and divorce. If he thinks he can do better with a teenager then good luck. Then land yourself a mature man who'll not only treat you with the respect you deserve but take your advice and dislikes to heart instead of sneaking around behind your back.

Like a bull in a china shop sweetie and tear down the house if you have to with him in it! Never put up or tolerate a man causing you to feel unsafe and not secure in your life no matter how much you think you love him. Your husbands behavior is disrespectful and deliberately putting himself into temptation to do you wrong. You make him choose you and the marriage and make him get marriage counseling with you to understand the damage he has done to your relationship with him. When a man screws up the trust and he chooses to do something like that over you he has a serious problem and you do not wait for him to pull the rug out from under you because he ends up meeting up with some of these vulnerable stupid women to only bring you home an std.

It's easy to say you won't ever do something again to appease someone. Change starts in the heart and not just words from a persons mouth. I think he needs help - is he a teenager -no! This is unacceptable and not called for. I would be angry as he broke your trust a second time all the while pretending to be someone he is not. Confront him -if he i going to play adult games he must be willing to deal with the consequences.

I would just tell him that you need to sit down and have a talk. because if this is bothering you then he should know. And if you don't say anything he will keep on doing this. And if you have had an issue with this before he really shouldn't be doing it again. tell him how you feel so you can put a stop to this asap.

You ask him and if he denies, you show him the proof.

Hiding things from you is the same as cheating. When a person cheats and you decide to take them back, you will ALWAYS have suspicion, especially when their routine and/or attitude changes. Suspicion, not proof, is enough to destroy a relationship. You have to ask your self if it's worth it, if so, then do not complain if he is caught again. Tell him you want him to seek help. if he refuses, I suggest you find someone else.

How do you approach him?? Here you go...

"Listen douchebag.....your bags are out by the curb....you should join them."

You gave him a chance to change. He deserved that. If he didn't like the conditions you gave him to come back to, he could have left. Instead he chose to hurt you more. No thanks. Have him leave. Especially if you have kids. My husband and myself have 2 boys and when my husband pulled the cheating crap, he now has to follow my rules or leave. Choice is easy but he does have a choice

Obviously his temporary solution for the problem was to lie to get you back, and now that you are, his pressure is off and he's back to old tricks. If counselling doesnt work for you, (because thats where you should be) then send him packing.