To write the letter or not write the letter?

The letter won't help anything. It will just add to the drama.

Your grandparents clearly want nothing to do with you. Writing them a letter telling them not to expect an invitation won't change anything.

Telling them not to send you anything is INCREDIBLY rude and presumptuous. Because (a) you should NEVER assume that ANY of your guests will be sending/bringing you a wedding gift, and (b) if they're ignoring you then clearly they won't be sending you anything anyway, so it's just tacky and rude and unnecessary to tell them "And I won't accept a gift from you, either!" when they probably won't even be sending you one in the first place.

If you are on good terms with your aunt, then there's no reason why you can't send her an invitation even if she lives with your grandparents. If your aunt is an adult then she should get her own invitation, even if she lives with her parents ... even if you were on good terms with your grandparents, you wouldn't include your aunt's name on their invitation anyway. Either send one invitation to your aunt and another to your grandparents at the same address (in two separate envelopes), or only send it to your aunt.

If your grandparents contact you to ask why they didn't receive an invitation, reply with, "I've been trying to contact you for months and you've ignored me. Therefore I don't care to have a relationship with you anymore." End of story.

If they ask why Aunt was invited but they weren't, reply with, "Aunt Jane and I are close, and she has always been supportive of my relationship with Fiance." End of story.

Or just send the invitation to your aunt, and another to your grandparents, and let your grandparents decide whether they want to accept it or not.

Do not write a letter. It won't help matters in any way. If you want to write one to process your feelings, then by all means do so, but do not mail it to your grandparents. Either put it away and use it for your own form of closure, or burn it if you feel tempted to mail it to them.

Your aunt should get a separate invitation anyway. She's an independent adult.

I would ignore the ignoring, and invite them anyway. Also, perhaps they have health issues or something else is going on?

Anyway, definitely don't write the letter you're planning on writing. Not only is it bad manners, but it'll be there in black and white to be held against you forever.

Oh, for crying out loud, grow up! You clearly haven't given the full story here. There is no point in writing a letter to them to complain. I'm pretty sure they said something at Christmas and you know why the are ignoring you.

Act like the adult you claim to be and send two, yes two, invitations. One addressed to your aunt and the other to your grandparents. If the come, they come. If they don't, they don't. Your aunt can make up her own mind.

There will never be a good reason to do this.

As to what you should do, that would depend upon the reason this is happening in the first place. Either there has been some past drama,there is illness of which you are unaware, or they are afraid you will expect them to contribute money they cannot afford to part with. You're leaving out a lot.

I think you should scratch the idea of this letter entirely. Be hurt all you want, but not everyone is going to be as involved with your wedding as you are. There could be all kinds of things that have your grandparents minds elsewhere: health, financial, work worries. Who knows. I guarantee it has nothing to do with you and they're not intentionally ignoring you, whatever it is.

Don't be petty. Don't send or say anything berating them for "their behavior." take the high road and invite them to your wedding when the time comes.

1. Are you SURE they are healthy, and safe?

2. Why don't you travel to them and confront them directly --- at least you will know one way or the other, what is really going on with them.

It is very worrisome that they do not contact you in any way for months.. Even Jeffrey Dahmer, while in prison, got visits from his father. Disturbing example, but you get my point.

Are you old enough to get married?

This is ridiculous. You other questions are about controlling what your sisters wear to your wedding, and somehow conniving to get your grandmother's marriage certificate from your aunt.

You need to seriously chill and back off. The world does not revolve around you.

Send 2 invites - one specifically to your aunt, and one to your grandparents

It's up to them whether they respond and attend or not.

Is there a reason they're not talking?

I say, "Let it go!" Don't worry about your grandparents' "indifference" towards you and your fiance. You have a choice to invite them or not invite them. If you invite them, they'll either come or they won't. I wouldn't waste my time writing a letter.

Sounds like you're trying to hurt and manipulate your grandparents out of a sense of revenge. This is a very childish attitude. Perhaps they feel that you did something to drive them away in the first place, it's very possible.